its about letting go yeah?
was just thinking about one of my close friends. she and i arent really close anymore sadly. we've known each other since fop 2001 and then we were really close till like may last year and she was really one of my bestest friends. i could tell her everything and i could confide in her anything. i would make surprise visits to her house with apple pies or roll ups to cheer her up or something and i really treasure the times we had and the memories we've shared. being in different schools probably tore us apart and both of us into our busy lives just didnt give us enough time to spend with each other. still i messaged her occasionally and kept encouraging her and telling her she can do it! studies wise i mean. and she knows im here for her still, and she's always there for me as a listening ear still. in a way its like those teenage magazines where u write in about how u lose ur best friend due to distance and its quite sad. well, my greatest wish for her has come true, and that was her re-dedicating her life to God and im really happy for her. yeah sure ill miss the times we've spent together and sure we'll only meet up once in awhile now for our fave spiceh stuff but she'll always remain in my heart as a good friend. she helped give me this lazeecow nick and i still remember the haunting resemblance moaning martha from harry potter had with the singing in the rain character. or all the times where we've studied at delifrance and the times where we've TRIED to study at my house but always end up watching dvds and crying ourselves silly over a walk to remember or i am sam. sigh. all these still make me smile.

its been awhile since we've 'drifted' and it just suddenly hit me with a certain sadness tat we're not close anymore. i mean at first when we started talking less and all i felt a little lost, but i guess i didnt make too much of an effort to anyway and she didnt too so we both just found more interest in other aspects of our lives. tho it was a very short 'best friendship' i really miss telling her stuff and i really miss those e33 nights and all the bloody things we did(literally haha). ill always sing for this friend and we went thru quite a bit, essays and all. sigh, i still regret sometimes and i wish things could be as good as before, but i guess it really is about letting go. about finding comfort in the fact that tho we're not as close and dont talk as much, we're still there for each other. it brings tears to my eyes everytime i think about those times we've shared and mookie the cow. well. as she always says, "and friends are friends forever if the Lord Lords over them. and friends will never say never, cos the welcome will not end. tho its hard to let you go, in the Father's hands we'll know, that a lifetimes not too long to live as friends" i never thought before that the part about letting go would come for us but -sigh- it must. im trusting you to the care of God now and im still here for you sleepycow, and i'll be missing you. :o)

lazeeecow.