i am awake. rather unwillingly i must say. it is quite an un-earthly hour to be up at now. very uncommon, especially to me. but mind you i wasn't sleeping moments before this and neither was i startled out of blissful sleep by any particular person. i simply hadn't been able to sleep. blame it not on insomnia, its irrelevant. i wish very much that i could act out my motivations, simply because it would be very difficult and challenging to do so. simply because there isn't(or might i say, wasn't) any hint of a sign of motivation in my daily pursuits in life. but i've found it, much to my delight

"I've finally found a reason for living,
its in giving every part of my heart to Him.
In all that i do, every word that i say,
I'll be giving my all just for Him"

how true it is. indubitable and unquestionable. giving our every part to Him. giving our all to Him. giving our best, inclusive of our academic pursuits and church-going selves. we have been playing a mindless game involving the incessant schedenfreude of childish characteristics, the inevitable battle within ourselves as to what can be defined clearly as "all" but let us just stop for one moment and think. giving our all means, EVERYTHING. nothing more, nothing less. to participate in division of ourselves would be scornful and we must work towards giving our everything, inclusive of our moral decadencies and our shameful pasts. everything. just surrender it all to God. only when u give your 100% will u be able to experience God in a tangible way.