one mistake. maybe thats all it takes.

and yes its true. God wants to bring u down to ur lowest point such that u feel so miserable u cant do anything else but seek Him. one week more. one week more to that total drastic dreaded day. i feel so.. lost? i feel like i can't concentrate on anything for now. God truly wants us to feel like we have nothing left.. and we are NOTHING without Him. when frens desert us, when frens leave, ignore or choose to remain elusive, what can i do? nothing. i'll just ponder over whether that mistake was really worth it and whether i can say or do anything to justify it.

do u hav any idea how much condemnation it has on my life? i bet not. do u know how guilty i feel abt it?i myself feel like i have done so much wrong to myself and to those around me i care abt so dearly. it feels like all the effort ive put in the past month has been wasted. futile. FUTILE it is. its really strange how the people i love the most can ironically make me feel the worst.