feeling fragile.

its tough to be on a mission in which you are fully confident, extremely determined to work hard, and decided on certain issues; and yet have the people who supposedly know you the best put you down and tell you that you cant do it. they look at you with questioning eyes, with uncertainty clearly evident and it just breaks down all the confidence you once had.

for ONCE, i wish that i could have the authority to decide for myself. for ONCE, i wish i could just will away all that rising uncertainty and actually not care about what others think. its tough isnt it? i keep trying, and i keep falling. and its NOT because im stupid lazy or unwilling. its simply because i cant take the crumbling pressure others put on me.

its always easy to say, dont give a shit abt what others think.

it matters! of cos it does. if not why do people say things in the first place if their opinion isnt gonna matter? everytime i will myself to be numb, i cant.

and then i wear my mask of the day, go out and smile, and life goes on.