i hate the nights.

i love everypart of the day except the nights. because thats when i feel the loneliest and the most empty. so i occupy myself with mindless things, and i go about watching stupid television for two three hours before i finally drift off to sleep. otherwise, i'll talk on the phone till im really tired. even if my days are busy and tiring, i hate it when im walking home from the bus stop, or taking a bus home. theres this deep sense of nothingness in me, and i feel so... alone.

maybe its just deep-rooted in me. that no matter what, there never seems to be anything tangible that can fill up that emptiness in me. no matter how happy i try to be, i think happy thoughts, i sing happy songs, but nonetheless, its still the same.

just now i was taking a bus home from holland vee, and i accidently got off at gen's bus stop instead of the main road one. and as i walked to 7-11 and then to the other bus stop, i couldnt help but feel melancholic and sad. dunno lah.

thats why i treasure every moment i spend with a friend, family or whoever. becos it means alot to me and yeh.. dont know how to explain. but today in itself was a fairly good day. the rain made it very gloomy and sian, but yeh got thru it all slightly happier!