making the right choices
today church was a different experience altogether. i was doing ushering, for the first time ever, and it felt different to actually be ushering people in instead of being ushered in. i guess its a ministry that requires a humble heart and of course a servant heart. i found it un-natural, maybe its because its my first time. but it was altogether a nice experience.

today ailing was speaking. i was just listening to the sermon and if i could, i would be snapping my fingers at every point she said that related to me. which would be alot of times, for sure. making the right choices. i didnt go for the leaders retreat altho i had the time and the energy. i went out and then home. guess all the while God was reminding me softly that i needed to refocus and to set my priorities right once and for all. i was struggling with the decision to stand up and i was really quite stoned out by the people around me and i just sat very still and quiet [ for once! ] haha. den i wanted to ask gen to pray for me, but i just didnt, i dont know why. maybe i felt opressed. i dont know. i was just telling her abt how off i felt the night before and how i felt so much emptiness despite being successful at the concert earlier that night. it was just so unexpected. it was a high that dipped so low i felt so.. empty.

anyway i called my friend and she messaged me sth very encouraging afterwards! thanks! :)

today was just very different, i really havent the words to correctly articulate myself.