yikes. couldn't sleep much. recently its been like that. i would sleep at an un-earthly hour, and then wake up one or two hours later. it starts with the tumbling in bed and then it proceeds on to the wide-eyed gawking at the ceiling. after a few minutes, i just clamber out of bed in frustration and head for the old dowdy computer which surprisingly brings me much comfort, after reading pastor daniel's answers to the questions a friend asked me. i couldnt answer my friend simply because i lacked in my knowledge and foundation in the word of God and whatever i said or attempted to convey to him didnt suffice. and for that matter, he would rebutt my every argument with a stronger argument complete with evidence and a bibliography. goodness, he really has something to prove. but like i said before, he doesnt get to me. sure he gives me questions about my faith, he allows that teeny wee bit of doubt to siff its way in, but still, i am unmoved, i am unswayed. anyway recently its not like ive been a very feeling person anyway. theres this perpetual blank stare on my face and it is clear, if not to anyone else but me, that steel endures behind my sleepy, emotionless expressions. i am not easily brought down and i will not tolerate such audacity. gee, im sounding too fierce. the proliferation of my vocabulary is seemingly decreasing but i really cant be bothered. and im not gonna say im tired, cos im not. im gonna get through all this stronger.