the past few days have been good, as in i really had a good rest. had time to think, had time to wonder about things, and had time to digest God's word. was reading this book, a love worth giving by max lucado and was really touched by the contents of the book. It felt as if the book was opening itself up to me like an unravelling mystery, and each word had a tangible impact upon my heart. We are so black, filled to the brim with deceit and pride, yet God remains so patient with us! I’ve always professed to myself that ya I know the bible well, yeah so this verse and that verse speaks of this and that, but it was only after reading this book, then did I realise the error of my own judgement. i hardly know the bible, not to speak of verses or whatnots. the blackest of all sin is pride. I’ve committed grievious sins that amount to me being so unworthy and black with sin yet I have never sincerely asked for forgiveness. I always do it for the sake of doing so. I guess I have to receive forgiveness and confess my unconfessed sins in order to hear God clearly.

ive always questioned myself and God as to what deters me from hearing Him clearly and acting upon His will. i always fear hearing the wrong things and being blesphemous in my every misheard action. i always worry about whether its right or if its clear and accurate, and i never bother from then on. i just leave it as..that. which may be my greatest folly, because after all, if we hear something, its only natural to ask for confirmation. guess all this while ive been a lazy christian, one to always just pray and hope, believing that faith alone is enough to conquer all. sheesh. without constant prayer, it would all come to naught? then again, God is a gracious God, and He gives even when we don't ask Him to. ive been asking and asking God for this, for that, for everything under the sun except forgiveness! only when we receive and realise the multitude of His awesome grace and mercy, and realise the true depth of His love, then can we witness the greatest miracle of all, the change in ourselves.

ok, so maybe i dont make sense. i always write on impulse anyway. but this is what ive come up with after spending moments deliberating what to write for today. my faith makes up a whole lot of who i am now and i am who i am now because God's grace allows me to stand strong in the presence of all difficulties. amen.

anyway i met daph today at the bus stop haha and erm we didnt exactly meet larh i was with a friend when i thought i caught a glimpse of her going up the bus. actually i recognised the sailor moon uniform so i started to holler out! haha then she didnt hear me! :( so i rushed forward and called her on the bus and she looked outside! haha it was real amusing. anyway i keep running to her in town. hello muax partner! -winks-