whoa! 3hours of industrial revolution! and 2hours of my lit novel, hard times. i feel so overpowered now, just for awhile. my mind is sorta warped now, confused, yet deliberate. i wil continue to do my work, working hard becos i know that its gonna get me somewhere next time, even if it means starting from scratch again. everytime i remember too much i get a headache! which aches like mad and makes me feel so..retarded! but nevermind about that, im still very impressed by the underlying thematic tensions that climaxes to reveal such clear social problems in 'hard times'! impressive, i think i will never get over the "writing" phase

anyway my mind is still a whirlwind now, kinda trying to get used to being hardworking and having to enforce discipline over myself! its quite tiring but it will get me somewhere, so i will not give up trying! people tell me that i work hard, but i feel that it is only necessary as i dont think im exactly very bright! ok, nevermind about that either, i've been really happy these few days, especially yesterday. playing for worship together with gen and judith it was a great experience and i learnt alot! and the word was so empowering!

alot of my friends who read my blog tell me that i write thought-provoking stuff! which is really hilarious because i actually didnt even like blogging til i read about it from gen! i found it such a hassle, yet now it has become an idle hobby haha.. well.. we'll see! whatever thought-provoking crap i can cough out later, or tonight, may just fundamentally be rubbish! :)