ok, i cant sleep. feeling so agitated.

dear God, i pray for peace. i really need Your help! divine intervention!! :(:(

everytime i try to be happy, someone snatches it away from me. its not about being negative anymore, its not about giving yr best in whatever u do; cos whatever you do, it doesnt matter!! no way. u can put in yr 100percent and it gets thrown back into yr face like a pie. i wish i could sweep all the people that i dont like under the carpet [and if yr thinking im talking abt u.. its not u.] u can give yr all, but SO WHAT?!

like louisa gradgrind in the novel hard times, i only have this to say.

"WHAT DOES IT MATTER??"

i'm upset.

and its 4 freaking AM.