"whats the point in loving you when your every waking moment is spent destroying me...?"

i'll get by today with a placid smile, and ill become torpid once again. reduced to the wastes of this earth, raging against the consuming decadence. what can i do? if loving someone is so painful, why does anyone love at all? how i long to be like Louisa in the novel Hard Times. i could just push away everything, hurt silently and be..

utterly indifferent, perfectly self-reliant, never at a loss, and yet never at ease.

but what do u know? i still miss you all the same.