friendship is depressing isn't it?

you think people mite understand you a little better, but no they dont. you think people would know what you want in life, but hell no. and since you cant be bothered anymore, neither will i. ive been tired for a very long time, hell long. so long i cant even remember when. since it means so little to you then i'm sorry. i tried and im fucking tired of trying. i feel so tired of trying anymore

what the fuck does it matter right? wrong to swear? AIYAH. whatever right?! just becos im christian doesnt mean i have to be a walking angel with a dam halo over my head. i try my best to be as best as i can, and somehow there are always newer expectations to meet everyday. and i always fall short of them. i keep trying but DAMMIT. im so so so so tired.

tired of being an angel. someone please knock it off my head. UGHHHHHHHHHHHH

every single dam person has expectations i need to meet. if i fuck up just ONCE, wah END OF THE WORLD. its like i have to be someone else im not. i cant even find contentment in things i complete. so what if i achieve this or that!? SO WHAT?! I'M NOT HAPPPPPPPPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M DAMMMMMMM NOT BLOOOOODY HAPPPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wah lau its like i try my best to be a good friend, a good cell leader, a good student, a good person overall but FUCK NO. cannot. everything is NEVER ENOUGH!!!!!! u know how blooody frustrating it is!!!!!!!!!!! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

YAH. DONT CLAIM TO UNDERSTAND ME. cos u so dam fucking DONT. arghhh go awayyyyyy. i wish i could have the liberty to sweep all irritating ppl under the carpet and actually BE selfish and not feel dam bad for being that way.

i hate it. i hate myself. i hate myself for being so hysterical and mad. i hate NOT being in control of myself and my emotions. dammmmmmmit i want to screammmmmmmm

I shall go run. maybe itll de-frustrate me.