i'm going to hawaii tmrw morning, but it feels like i'm leaving my heart behind. i know its only for a week or two, but i really want to be there at church tmrw morning, and worship with the church, with all my frens, yet i can't. smtimes when u want to earnestly seek God, the timing goes all wrong. i've been thinking alot the whole of yesterday nite and this morning and i know what i want in life already. im not gonna deliberate any further, im gonna make my choices and i know that God will support me no matter the difficulties.

suddenly after camp im in that dreamy starry-eyed phase, where all i think about is my life and myself. its been too much abt others so much that i havent had time to think thru myself abt my own problems. liana told me before that smtimes its alrite to be selfish for awhile. maybe i really need this time alone, away from my frens and him. to think thru whats impt to me and that in whatever i do, i will honour God with all my heart. its hard, but i'll survive. hopefully things will be more clearer and i will be more firm in what i want to do. which includes the way i behave, to be more forceful with the things i want to put across and to throw away that meekness.

till den, goodbye, tkcare all and i'll try to come back asap! love u all! :)