taking people for granted
don't know why i'm writing about this. i would be the first to admit to being one of them. but den again, who is blameless? today was a strange day. met zach and adrea at cityhall and den we left zach and went for lunch at suntec, den headed down to heritage view for meeting. before that, we were just sitting in church and waiting for people and i was talking to aunty li hwan[you know that zai pianist in church..] and she was asking me to serve in SES. and i havent the slightest clue as to why i chose to volunteer for the sunday 730am service. warped. anyway as i just sat there whilest justin played 'God of wonders', i felt a sudden, incredibly strange sense of loneliness. even tho there were ppl around me, i felt so... alone. and i realised that the only person i had left in the sanctuary was -- God.

and the realisation of that suddenly brought me great comfort. and i felt God telling me not to take my friends and even my family for granted. theyve all done so much for me, and theyve been so special! God also prompted me not to take my own life for granted. we wake up everyday in blissful oblivion, do we live each day like its our last? can we go to sleep contented and knowing that we've led our lives to the very best? i was just doing a simple self-evaluation last week. i wanted to see how many nights a week i could go to sleep happy and contented. and the answer was dismal and depressing. only once. there's something missing from our lives. people hardly smile nowadays, even if they do, somehow they seem to be hiding alot of hurt and pain. where's the joy we speak of so much? we share so much abt feeling the joy that comes only from God.. but its not apparent in our lives is it? it comes at strange intervals and its a really warm fuzzy feeling, but it disappears or diminishes after awhile... can we make it last?

anyway want to thank some ppl.. for just being the rocks in my life and keeping me steady and alive. its amazing what blessings theyve been :)

my bro: your consistent encouragement never fails to lift me up. thanks!

gen: thanks for everything, really. words fail to express what i really feel, but thanks really.. i love you! :)

sarah: coke*can, thanks for being you. thats the best part i like abt u :) heart you:)

winston: hey, i take ur 'words of wisdom:p' seriously.. thanks for just sticking by me and for encouraging me.. it means alot more den you may think it does to me:)

eve*: it was great to meet u again and it never fails to bring a smile to me whenever im around you. thanks for the love:)

ailing: you make me smile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :D :) thanks...........!!!! :D

the boys: you guys rock man!! really, thanks for being the best brothers ever!

xy: there's always hope yes? that message really really meant alot. more then you'll know too. but thanks :) be strong kay :)

adrea: you are hilarious. fullstop. :)

liana: the prayers work wonders! thank you thank you! :)

realised i havent talked to alot of people off late. been so caught up with my own life. sigh. jess is leaving next sat. rember how we were close last yr during this time.. and now she's leaving. quite sad. :( haiii.. ive rubbished enough tonight. happysmiles* to you. :)